Saturday, April 6, 2013

A Little Dab Will Do You

I think my mother looks better today than then.
My mother called:  Guess what your father used to brush his teeth?
Me:  I have no idea.
My mother:  Desitin

She called another day:  Guess what your father was going to use to shampoo his hair?
Me:  I have no idea.
My mother:  Lysol Toilet Bowl cleaner!

He puts his deodorant on his back.
The medicine cabinet in his bath has been emptied of all but toothbrush and toothpaste.

The razor is locked up. My nephew bought him an electric one for his birthday.  He put it up.  Took nearly a month to find it.  

Shampoo is now placed in certain places in the bath.
All cabinets in his bathroom have been locked.

My mother called:  Guess where your father put my new shampoo?
Me:  I have no idea.
My mother:  That's the problem, neither do I.
The shampoo has been missing for six weeks.

He has a stash, somewhere.  In it, if we ever find it, will be her diamond wedding band.  Yes - he took that.  He's not taking the remotes like some do.  He takes little things, putting them up.  She's missing 3 pair of his gray, dress, summer slacks.

He has shampooed his hair in Desitin.
I think he also used toothpaste one time.

Yes, it is heartbreaking.  But, if you don't laugh, you lose your mind.  It's rather like Aunt Eva and the chicken bone she tried to get my sister to eat.  Aunt Eva was in her eighties, living in Middletown, KY.  My sister was maybe 7. 

All rights reserved, SJ Reidhead

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