Thursday, June 16, 2011

What? I Can't Hear a Thing on This Phone!

APR and Rumsfeld
Those who haven't seen APR in a week have noticed the difference.  Like a friend said, "He's almost his old self!"  Yea, right, complete with the cat stealing his remaining hearing aid.  Even though the meds are working, wonderfully, he can't hear a damn thing, which makes him sound like he has Alzheimer's!

This afternoon, about 3PM or so, a fast moving wild fire broke out in a forested subdivision about 2 miles from me.  We were going to meet at Cattle Baron for early dinner al la Seinfeld (an old episode).  By the time I went to the post office, and stopped at the laundry, they were announcing evacuations and highway closures.

I call the parents.  My father's words are in the regular text color.  Mine are in Red.

"Are you there yet?"
"Where are you?"
"Does your mother have time to get the car washed?"
"There is a fire..."
"She will be there in less than five minutes."
"There is a bad fire..."
"You are already there?  She said she would be there in about five minutes.  There is a fire?  Does your mother have time to get the car washed before you meet us?"  I hear him tell my mother I will be there in three minutes!

(I am not kidding - this was the conversation).

"They are starting to evacuate along 70.  You need to meet me at Jorges."
"Why are they evacuating?  Oh, there's a fire?  Is Champion's Run on fire?  Where are you?  We're getting the car washed!"
"May I please speak to my mother?"
"Why?  She's driving.  She's going to get the car washed and meet you for dinner.  Are you there yet?"
"There is a fire."
"What wire?"
"The fire is behind K-Bobs."
"We're meeting her at K-Bob's for dinner."
"They've evacuated K-Bobs.  That is where the fire is."
"What wire?  I thought we were going to Cattle Baron, but now we're going to K-Bobs.  Your mother doesn't like K-Bobs."

He finally gives the phone to my mother.  I explain about the possibility of highway closures and evacuations.  I told her where we needed to meet.  I hear my father, "Why?  What fire?  I don't see any fire?"

About 5 minutes later I have made my way through town.  By the time I reached Schoolhouse Park, "traffic" (if you can call it that) has begun to back up.  The smoke looks horrible, blowing toward the condos where I live.  I hear on the radio that they were evacuating down to the Track.  Jorges was being evacuated.  Walmart was being evacuated!

I call the parents.

My father answers.  "What's going on?"  (I swear he said that).  "Are you meeting us for dinner?"
"They're evacuating down to Walmart.  You need just to get through the "Y" and head home."
"Why?  We aren't having dinner?"
SJFR and Ronald Rumsfeld Reagan Reid
"There is a huge fire.  At least one home has burned."
"I don't see any fire.  Say, are you hungry?  Where are we going for dinner?  What?  What wire?  Where are you?"
"I'm being forced to turn.  There are a bunch of back roads..."
"Why are you on back roads?  Did you know there is a fire!  You said something about a fire, but the cat ate my hearing aid.  Where are you?  Are you being evacuated?"
"I need to talk to my mother."
"She's driving.  The traffic is terrible.  Why do  you need to talk to her?  What?  Where are we meeting you?  Who is being evacuated?  You said the church is on fire?"

Josie called then called.  I hung up on the parents.  I had to hang up on her and curse a little as I was instructed to turn off Suddreth.  I ended up driving around the Middle School, toward Sonic.  I call the parents, again...!

"Where are you?"
"We're near the health food store.  I can't  hear you at all."
"I told you to head to the Downs."
"Your mother wanted to get the car washed.  We're coming.  I can't hear you!"
"They are closing off the entrance to the hospital."
"Why, is the church on fire?  The fire hasn't spread to the Downs has it?  Why do you need to talk to your mother?"
"I need to tell her which road to take."
"She's going to the Downs."
"They have closed the roads."
"Yes, we're on the road.  Where are you?"

As I drove down on of the roads that led to the Sonic, I noticed that the fire appeared to be so close to the Presbyterian Church that it was going to go up in flames.  I did not have a camera to get a shot of one of the planes dropping slurry.   The phone rings.

"Where are you now?"
"I am trying to make my way home.  They are sending everything over to 70.  Take the road by the church."
"We're behind Walgreens.  What road do we take?  You said the church is on fire?  I can't hear you on this phone!"
"It looked like the Presbyterian church was on fire."
"The church is on fire?  It doesn't look like the fire is near it.  Where are you?  We're at Walgreens, all turned around."
"Tell my mother to go back up to the church and turn town 70."
"How can she?  She's lost.  Where are you?  I can't hear you at all."

Thank goodness Josie called so I could hang up on them.  I was talking to Josie when I drove into my condo.  She told me if I did not hear from them to tell my mother to pull over and she would come find them.  About that time they pulled up behind me in the parking lot where I live!

My mother was clutching the mail to her chest.  The wind was horrific.  My father had a box from Shadow (my seamstress) in his hands.  I asked them to leave everything in their car.  If I had to evacuate, quickly, then I would have something to wear.

I asked them to evacuate Rumsfeld.  If he were not here, and I needed to catch the cats, then it would be much easier.  We had to argue with my father over that, the package, and the mail.


Rumsfeld is quite happy being evacuated, playing with Sadie.  The fire is contained.  Unfortunately nine homes were burned.  There are a lot of people out there who need prayer, including a mama bear and a set of twins who were lost in the fire.

No comments:

Post a Comment